Meet Nutterz, our Chief Acorn Architect
Nutterz the Squirrel works tirelessly (and nuttily) to keep our stack performant, chaotic, and just confusing enough to qualify as enterprise-ready. If something breaks, it's either a missing semicolon or Nutterz is napping.
What in the nut is The Squirrel Stack?
Squirrel Stack is the world's most unreliable but charmingly chaotic tech stack -- a volatile concoction of libraries, frameworks, tools, and buzzwords we barely understand but say confidently while nodding in sprint planning.
Built on a foundation of frontend nut-rendering, backend burrow-optimization, and just the right amount of unchecked recursion, Squirrel Stack is architected for maximum confusion and minimal uptime. We embrace microservices so small they frequently ghost the service mesh and go live in the woods. Our CI/CD pipeline is powered by GitHub Actions, duct tape, and Steve's laptop. It is mostly YAML, guesswork, and a Slack bot named "NutBot" that says, "y'all good?" every time a build fails.
Learn more about The Squirrel Stack Annual Conference.
Our Totally Real Product Lineup
NestJS (Literal Edition)
Our fork of NestJS that runs exclusively in tree-based environments. Requires squirrelOS and at least 8GB of bark.
This platform-native, bark-optimized backend embraces Composable Architecture principles while leveraging Edge Computing--because our squirrel nodes live in actual trees. Each request is routed through a Service Mesh woven from vines, offering low latency if your acorn cache is in the right forest zone. Fully compatible with WebAssembly (as long as you whittle your own binary). Logging is managed via scratching patterns on bark strips, and all updates are deployed using a Git branch... literally.
NutToggle™
A revolutionary feature flag service. Flip a switch, change your production stack. Sometimes it even works. Results may vary depending on squirrel morale.
This platform-native, bark-optimized backend embraces Composable Architecture principles while leveraging Edge Computing--because our squirrel nodes live in actual trees. Each request is routed through a Service Mesh woven from vines, offering low latency if your acorn cache is in the right forest zone. Fully compatible with WebAssembly (as long as you whittle your own binary). Logging is managed via scratching patterns on bark strips, and all updates are deployed using a Git branch... literally.
CachetNut
Distributed caching powered by random stashes of data buried in remote logs. Great for speed. Terrible for reproducibility.
This caching layer uses intent-based caching patterns and emotionally consistent TTLs. Built on a highly scalable network of squirrel-accessed stumps, CachetNut uses Platform Engineering principles to ensure your stale content feels fresh. We support multi-region log stashing, predictive forgetting, and probabilistic Redis (sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't). Now with optional support for Web3 incentives where every cache miss mines a coin you can't sell. CachetNut is the future of memory. Until we forget where we put it.
Acornlytics
Real-time telemetry based on acorn flow patterns. Learn exactly when users rage-quit and blame it on our squirrel AI algorithm. Very advanced. Somewhat predictive. Mostly nuts.
Harness the power of AI/ML Ops fused with traditional nut dynamics. Acornlytics utilizes LLM-enhanced session replay to guess what your users were thinking when they clicked that button 47 times. Data flows through our patented Data Fabric made of twigs, which is absolutely not a security risk (probably). It even integrates with IoT-enabled trees, letting you monitor bark temperature, tail flick frequency, and nest humidity in real time. Our dashboard? Built in VR. For no reason. At all.
Squirrel-GPT 5 (Beta-ish)
Introducing our revolutionary AI model, trained exclusively on squirrel chatter, nut placement patterns, and open-source README typos. Squirrel-GPT 5 answers questions before you ask them, using predictive LLM fuzzing and tail-twitch-based reinforcement learning.
Featuring a scalable, federated brain mesh of squirrel agents running on tree-top edge devices with zero trust acorn-cryption. It's not just **Generative AI** -- it's **Degenerative AI**, constantly unlearning and rewriting its own syntax for fun. Now with built-in hallucinations and a 72% chance of answering in Latin.
SOC-2? SoC-Who?
We take security seriously. All our compliance efforts are supervised by certified squirrel auditors. Every log is buried, encrypted (with leaves), and forgotten about -- which is technically data retention if you don't ask too many questions.
Our DevSecOps stack includes bark-based access control, acorn token expiry, and a rigorous tail-signature verification process. If you ask about pen testing, we'll just tell you we gave the squirrels pens. Our compliance posture is somewhere between "we tried" and "please don't audit us."
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Proudly confusing users and impressing squirrels since v1.0-nut.